Good morning, Dr. Wracks, how was your breakfast asks Dr. Lector.
Fine says Dr. Wracks, but they only let you have one cup of coffee. They say you will get fat.
Get used to it Says Dr. Lector. I have a new arrival I want you to work up. He is very important.
His family is the richest family in New York State and they want him here for evaluation. Be careful what you say. The council want to know if the condition is a psychosis, a neurosis or medical, and how to deal with it. He is a financial genius. Do you think you can handle it?
I will do my best says Dr, Wracks.
He will be in the interview room at 11 o’clock. Be sure to look your best.
It is interview time and Dr. Wracks has gone back to his cell, shaved and brushed his teeth and put on a tie. His white clinician coat will do. He precedes to the interview room. Inside waits the patient. He sits in a chair, and he is of average height with hair thinning in the calvarium and occipital regions, skin tone normal, slight freckling which might be due to hereditary factors and no odor, mannerisms or automatism. Dr. Wracks introduces himself. Good morning Mr. home, I am Dr. Wracks, a fifth pathway intern, sent here to interview you. How are you today?
His eyes open wide and he says, Buy chock full of nuts.
Dr. Wracks asks again, what is chock full of nuts?
Dimba, dimba, do says Mr., home
Is Chock full of nuts a stock, an equity or a possession
La la, ga ga, goo says Mr. Home
At this point the interrogator decides that this patient is compos mentis and decides to use Carl Rogers sounding board technique. The Sounding board technique is designed to elucidate whether the patient is psychotic or not and to elucidate transference which will induce remission if successful.
Yakka yakka bop, says Mr. Home
Yakka yakka bop, says Dr, Wracks
Diddly de diddly does, says Mr. Home
Diddly de diddly does says Dr, Wracks
Bam bam bop says Mr. Ho
Bam bam bop says Dr. Wracker
At this point Mr. Home jumps up on the table and pulls down his pants exposing himself.
Dr. Wracks says. Now you hear what you are saying. Do you understand now why you are here
Mr. home pulls up his pants and sits back in his chair and is silent.
Dr. Lector and the council will place you on medication if you so desire to stabilize your condition. Our interview is concluded. Do you understand, Mr. Home
Mr. Home nods his head sullenly
Thank you very much for your time, and I hope to see you in the future. Have an excellent day Mr. Home. Dr. Wracks stands up, backsteps his way to the door and exits the interview room. The door shuts and locks with a loud click.
Dr. Wracks adds to his notes. There exists a possible hebephrenic condition not thought to be psychosis. These mannerisms exist as possible reaction formation to an aversive situation. A full blood workup indicates with attention to SGOT and BUN. Screen for sympathomimetic addiction as people of high intelligence resort to substance abuse to maintain performance levels. The pupils are normal size and reactive to light. The Patient is cognizant and responds to question and reacts to answer.
Dr. Wracks finishes the report and deposits it in Dr. Lectors office slot.
What ever happened to Mr. Home acts Dr. Wracks
He is better and his family requests he be requisitioned to more favorable and opulent surroundings. Thank you very much Dr. Wracks. Good Work says Dr. Lector. Enjoy the rest of your day.
It is very spartan here at the VA. Dr. Wracks sits in his cell with his light and his Harrisons principle of Internal Medicine and tries to read. The Milky Way bar he bought from the prison concessionaire tastes really good and later he might visit the patient canteen and get a Styrofoam cup of rot gut coffee. It is snowing outside in March and the administration suggests all unnecessary personnel go home before they are snowed in. Dr. Wracks has no place to go and his cell is his room and the weekend will be long and this VA in upstate has long dark tunnels that connect the units which he will manage this weekend.