The eighteen steps, also known as Shaolin boxing, are the basic exercises of Pakua.   By themselves, these postures stand as a complete martial art, effective against all styles.  All Pa Kua practitioners must learn the eighteen steps before they choose between the circular style or the synthetic style of Sun.   Nobody likes the eighteen steps because it is looping, most humans prefer the parry and punch of Tai Chi or the consecutive step attack of Hsing-I.   The question this author asks is why the most complete and economical system in Chinese boxing is relegated to an esoteric antiquity suitable only for old people.   Is it because only old people get into a fight over money or women? 

The movements of the eighteen steps mimic the movements of insects.   Insects are the most efficient and effective predators and this author delineates why.   The eighteen steps are the static movements of the preying mantis, the grasshopper, and the assassin beetle.  A small insect will play dead or instantly converge and throw circular movements at its adversary,  at something it eats, or battles for a meal.   For the rest of us, human beings, a circle is a long way to get to a straight line, but if an intrepid soul practices the art for twenty years or longer, the circles become faster and eventually approach the speed of a straight line, this fact is easier said than done and most people will not continue the silliness.   The reason the circle is so effective is that a circle produces a strike three times more powerful than a linear blow.  If F=MA, then F= mv squared/r in a circle or stretched out to a Newtonian vector, F=3.14MA.    A circular punch is three times more powerful than a linear strike if the practitioner can swing it very fast.   A bug attacking prey scurries with weight distributed 50/50 into striking range and then throws punches.   The punches happen from horizontal and vertical positions and if done rapidly, are hard to block.  An insect will scurry into position, throw hooks, overhand rights, and hookercuts, until the prey can’t defend itself and the insect begins to eat.

In comparison, the style is like the white crane, flying, bumping, and bending the bow.  Or like phoenix-style Tai Chi, with piercing, flapping, and flying.  However, it is more.  The eighteen steps include three postures of short boxing also known as fighting in the clinch, and a form of circular jiu jitsu that enables practitioners to escape grasps and crane kicks.    The final movement is a kick, called the scooping foot which resembles Thailand boxing in that a person uses a kick to the lower leg when nothing else works.   In Chinese boxing, kicking is denigrated because a big football player will tackle a victim and start punching.  When a person stands on one foot, they are unstable and easily taken down, and this is exactly what grapplers do best.   Never kick a grappler.   If anyone ever has been tackled and taken down and terrorized, they know exactly what I mean.   So let us begin.  Remember everything except the spear hand and the double impact punch moves in a circle. 

1. Deflection attack

This is the defense and attack of the preying mantis.  With the hands up like a mantis a person will hammer fist with the same side a hook strikes.   The Chinese believe that defending a hook opens up an opponent on that side.   The deflection attack can also be used as a double hammer fist to the face of an opponent.

• Double duty hand

This and this alone is the signature movement of Pa Kua.   A person strikes with a hand and when finished uses the same hand to deliver a horizontal back fist to the face.  Classically, a fighter throws an overhand right like brush knee and press in Tai Chi but then loops the hand to the face afterward.   The student can do this with an open hand or closed fist.  Done quickly, this movement looks like two circles in a figure eight.   A student practices this movement until it is lightning quick and when it is, the opponent will never see the back fist come from the side to the face.    The double duty hand is the basis for Pa Kua and all its strikes and maneuvers. 

• The spear hand

The spear hand is the same as drilling in Hsing-I or step up and punch in Tai Chi.  It is known in boxing circles as the one-two.   With the hands up like a mantis in front of the face, a boxer spears outward in two fist bursts.

• The double impact punch.

This movement replicates crushing in Hsing-I or press down, parry, and punch in Tai-chi.  Using the standing fist a person with their torso strikes the midsection in half horse and articulates the thumb downward, creating a double impact.   This movement is designed to beat the midsection of the opponent like a drum.

• Knuckle punch

This is the straight right hand with an upward block against the overhand right.  This is the same as fan penetrate back in tai chi and in Pa Kua it is to the midsection, the punch can also be directed at the head

• Sword hand

This is the second major movement of the eighteen steps.  Moving your hand like a sword, open or closed in a sweeping fashion, or with both hands like a two-handed hook or reverse flying like white crane or crossing in Hsing I or slanting flight in Tai chi.  However a sword moves, this is the way the hand moves also.   This can be with one hand or two, one at a time, or two together like two hands cutting.   Remember always the circle.

• Circle and reverse press

With your hand make a big circle with a fist, scooping upward just like the hooker cut.   This movement works great when your hands are high in the spear hand and you continue the circle and punch them in the groin

These eight movements are the ones a practitioner uses in a boxing match. They are the eight diagrams.   Next, come the four short boxing techniques

•  Circle and inverse press.

Move an arm in a huge circle to the left and push downward to the right and vice versa. The purpose of this movement is a strike where no room or leverage is possible.   This concept is hard for the Western mind to comprehend.  When a boxer has a hand on your clothes and wants to punch you in the side of the head, circle the arm as fast as possible and impact the groin.   This is a punch given where no leverage or strength is possible. 

• Pecking.

When an opponent grabs your collar to prepare a judo throw or wrestling takedown, with your hands shaped like a beak, a fighter gouges their eyes

1. Folding elbow

This is the famous Gracie jiu-jitsu elbow strike.  With thumbs down, fold to the elbow and swing the elbow like a hook.  When an opponent holds the boxer in a two-leg takedown, fold the elbow and pummel the face.

1. Uppercut.

This movement made Rocky Marciano famous.   When an opponent clinches with over-the-shoulder hooks, a boxer punches straight upwards with the fist till he or she connects.  A boxer can also make room with the folding elbow and then punch upwards with the uppercut

1. Reverse the attack

When an opponent shoots in a two-leg take-down, a boxer squats deeply in horse and swings across with a right cross from either side.   When the opponent transitions to a back clinch, a boxer twists to face them then slaps downward with the open hand.   This is the only decent defense a boxer has for the front two-leg shoot. 

1. Clamping

In horse stance, a boxer swings his arms in a big circle counterclockwise with the right hand. This finesse move is best used by an expert.  Making a big circle, he or she can deflect any strike to the midsection, a grab, or a side thrust kick and move the energy outside of the circle.   At this point, after the deflection, the boxer attacks with, a spear hand, sword hand, or big chopping.   The open hand can also be used as a slapping hook to the face like hands build clouds in Tai Chi.

1. Reverse Clamping

Swinging the arm in the exact opposite rotation, in a horse stance, a boxer can block a crane kick to the face or trap a Thai kick to the knee.  Reverse clamping and clamping are a movement a boxer usually discards as looping and slow, or esoteric.   However, when insects meet to fight to the death, they circle their arms as they close and do it religiously. Circling helps them evade the grasp.

1. Cross and Push.

This is the attempt by the boxer to evade a straight arm rush and grab by an opponent so they can infight or take the fight to the ground.  Circle the arm in an inward arc and squat down as you swing.   This movement breaks the grasp.  Then push forward forcefully with both arms in a two-handed strike to the midsection.  This is almost the same as the expansive push in Tai Chi Chuan. 

1. Big Chopping

The ancients leave this movement to last.   Maybe the huge overhand right or left is too slow to be useful in a boxing match.   Maybe it is used like the assassin beetle, to attack a huge grappler.

Pronate one arm and swing the member in a huge circle to impact somewhere in the head.   Fan penetrate back is designed to block this movement, but if it hits, you have won decisively.

1. Scooping foot

This is the only foot movement in the eighteen steps.  A practitioner swings his leg low like a karate roundhouse kick in an attempt to hurt the knee joint or from an oblique angle to take the opponent to the ground.   When the opponent is a Hapkido boxer, or Okinawan karate boxer, or drunken master, and dancing around, kick the leg to make him or her honest.  

1. Corkscrew Punch

This is the movement everyone hates.   No one uses it.   It is the attacking system of Shaolin boxing.   When you scurry up to meet a grappler, a boxer swings the corkscrew punch because it is hard to defend or block it.   This movement doesn’t work against the one-two punch of a prizefighter.   When a boxer confronts a grappler who presents with their hands down, he or she lunges forward with the corkscrew punch and when it connects, swings big chopping to the head.  The corkscrew punch moves like the threads of a screw.   Start with a big circle moving inward, constrict the circle as the fist moves, and punch out to the midsection.  At this junction, a boxer can swing the sword hand or big chopping against a grappler.

This is it.   Practice the eighteen exercises wherever a person goes, in the morning, on trips, by yourself at night.  This exercise will lengthen your life, add vital health, and yield a panacea for boredom that forever dogs your days.  The internal systems are an exercise to promote health foster coordination and increase your lifespan.   If a person wants to fight, go to a boxing gym and show them how tough you are.  

Dr. Lector looks up from the huge brown oak desk in the book-infested office.

Good morning Dr. Wracker, did you have your cup of coffee?

Yes I did Dr. Lector, and a cigarette

You cannot smoke in here, I don’t smoke, it is unhealthful.

A cup and a smoke keep me going for at least four hours, says Wracks

Very Well says Dr. Lector.  I have a new patient for you today.  He is the one who broke the nose of the director of this facility.  He has popsicle sticks protruding from his nose and is on sabbatical. You will inherit his patients for the eight weeks you are here.

I understand Dr. Lector, says the Wracks.

Remember to not let him get closer than arm’s length to you.  He has a mean back fist that moves extremely fast.  It seems he is a Vietnam veteran who is thrown to the front line in all defenses and he doesn’t want to do it anymore.  He wears a dress and tells his commanding officer that he wants to marry him.  Remember what I told you about inappropriate comments?  He is lightning-quick. The board thinks he is an undifferentiated schizophrenic and they want to know what you think of him.  Keep good notes and put them in the slot at the door of my office at the end of the day. Take some time now to compose yourself.  Your interview begins in fifteen minutes.  He is waiting for you.

Dr. Wracker gets up from the leather upholstered hardwood antique chair and exits out the door.  He doesn’t know why it seems dark in Dr. Lector’s office.  Maybe he likes it that way.  He proceeds down the hall to the main interview room, takes his key from his neck, opens the door, and puts the key back onto his neck.   Inside behind an interview table like the kind they use at police stations is a slight, black man, almost six feet in height with slightly pale skin.  The Wracks upon sitting down across from the patient make a note to evaluate the subject for sickle cell disease, trait, and SC variant.  For some reason, the man seems to vibrate at a high frequency but does not move a muscle, gesture, or smile.   He wears a floral blouse and a long blue dress with knee-high stockings like the kind the girls wear in high school.  He wears high-heeled shoes like Dorothy did in the movie The Wizard of Oz.  He sits with his legs crossed without a smile. 

Dr. Wracker says, Good morning, I am a board-certified physician and here to see you today. May I interview you?   Could you tell me about yourself?

Silence, then a wan smile. 

I hear you are a veteran with several tours in Vietnam.   Is this true?

The patient flashes a wan smile.

Do you have a name I can refer to you, sergeant? 

Yes, call me Ann.

Ann, when did you start wearing a dress, asks Dr. Wracks.

Ann leans forward and Dr. Wracker is ready to bolt for the door.

I am tired of fighting says Ann

All the people in this facility are tired of fighting and the Veterans sends all its good people here to get treated.  Dr. Wracker turns slightly and makes sure his path to the door is unobstructed.   He touches the key slung around his neck.   The soldier with tight kinky hair cut short bends his arms and sets his head upon his hands.  His gold earrings look cute and quaint, and his eyes are clear. But his cheeks have multiple freckles upon them which might indicate substance abuse. The incessant fine tremor might herald amphetamine intoxication as the soldiers in Vietnam often were killed in their sleep, so they would take uppers to stay awake. 

Can I have a cigarette asks Ann.

Yes, you can says the Wracks.   I will put it on the table for you.  Ann slowly reaches for the cigarette and inserts the same in his mouth

Will you light it for me asks Ann.

No, I can’t says Dr. Wracker.   The staff are not allowed to participate in games or physical contact with the patients.   Can I slide it to you?

Yes says Ann.  He takes the Bic clic lighter, turns the striker a couple of times, and then lights his cigarette.  He then blows some smoke directly at Dr. Wracker and pushes the lighter back to him.

I hope you enjoy Marlboro Red says Dr. Wracker.   They are my preferred brand. 

Ann smiles and his dark, dark eyes penetrate through Dr. Wracker.

I think the interview is complete says Dr. Wracker.   Is your medication giving you any bad effects?   I see it is haloperidol 5 milligrams twice daily.

Ann smiles and his teeth are capped with gold.

I am going to leave now, says Dr. Wracker.  I will be here for eight weeks and monitor your medication.  I will be circulating the ward.  If you have any questions, tell the charge nurse and he or she will contact me.  Thank you very much for your time.  Have a good day.  Dr. Wracker rises slowly, inserts the key in the lock, turns it, slides out, and pushes the door close.  He thinks to himself that he is getting good at this.

In his notes to Dr. Lector, the Wracks writes:  patient gaunt but well nourished.  Possible amphetamine intoxication with schizophrenic reaction.   Ectomorphic habitus, at this time undifferentiated symptoms with possible progression to paranoid status.  Doing well on haloperidol with no Parkinsonian reaction, suggested continued maintenance on antipsychotics with assay of blood for BUN and creatinine to indicate possible renal failure and symptomatology. Dr. Wracks takes the chart and his notes and slides them into the slot for Dr. Lector to peruse.   He then moves to the canteen where the inmates concentrate, sit, observe, and absorb, the situation of chronic mental patients.  He sits with his back against the wall, with the door in plain view, and does not smoke eat read, or create motion in any way.  The inmates watch a large color TV with the latest movies and run around, gesticulate, and waste time.  These people are veterans or the very upper class and they get the finest of medical treatment as they truly deserve.  The poor get lithium.

It is late now, and this is long ago and stored in the temporal lobe as engrams soon to be erased.  It is winter now and the rains come, and the clouds move and everything is grey except for the light in the Wracks’ room.   The Wracks sits and remembers his life and watches a large QLED with a Windows PC attached to an HDMI cable.  The clock stations on the wall to his right with an unused desk cluttered with debris and the Wracks asks himself this question: Could this man ever be president of the United States? The day moves on and the night slowly, surely, emphatically closes in.

Good morning says Dr. Lector.   The chief of the department is on sabbatical because one of the patients broke his nose in two places.  Refrain from speaking freely in the company of chronic schizophrenics.  Dr. Wracker, you will help me take up the slack while he is gone. 

What about the other interns that came in with me, says Dr. Wracker?    There are about five others.

They will work in outpatient psych where they can do the least amount of damage.  Admitted patients will be triaged by you says Dr. Lector.

What should I do asks Dr. Wracker.

your dossier says you are a board-qualified physician.  You are , aren’t you?

I guess I am Pines Dr.  Wracker.  I guess I am a little too young

A football player is being admitted for attempted murder.  He is well resourced and his lawyer entrusts him to our care.   He is very valuable to his team.  It seems that one of his family crossed him the wrong way and he threw him through a window five stories up.   That family member is in critical condition and hanging on to life.  His lawyer wants us to stabilize him until he can be returned to his team.  Please do not try and upset him and you will soon know why.   Enjoy your day.  I have many things to do.   I will see you tomorrow morning for rounds.

Dr. Lector appears of average height and a slight build and dresses in a suit and tie underneath his lab coat.  He sports dark black hair, possibly dyed, and a mustache and goatee to disguise his looks.  His office is a spacious affair with a big hardwood desk a single chair and multitudes of books shelved all around in every direction.  For some reason, the office seems dark even with the light on.  Dr. Lector moves silently and he appears and disappears without warning.  The Wracks think there must be secret passageways at this veteran’s facility which became reality about the time of the Civil War.  In the nineteenth century, the people built passageways in their large edifices and the White House had them too but few know where they are.   The Wracks takes his notepad, his black pen, and his key which hangs around his neck.  Dr. Lector instructs to never take off the key in the facility because it is the master key and all the locks at this Psychiatric lockup will have to be changed if it is lost. 

The interview room is a clean, well-lighted place with ample space and two doors both opposed to each other.   A large Caucasian attendant who is also a freestyle wrestler waves to the Wracks.  He is informed of the new help.  Very few people have the size, strength, and dedication to work in a facility like this one and they are in short supply.  A large black man sits behind a large Formica table with a lunch chair and it looks like a toy compared to his stature.  Mean Joe is at least six feet four inches high and almost that wide and all muscles.  He wears a football jersey shirt and denim jeans with Adidas basketball sneakers in an extended size.   His eyes are open and orange and the mucosa sags and the Wracks makes a note in his clipboard to have the indirect bilirubin, direct bilirubin, and transaminases assayed.  This might be a resultant of the medication or chronic steroid use.  He seems alert and Dr. Wracker introduces himself.

Hello, I am Dr. Wracker.  I am an intern in Psychiatry at the Veterans and a graduate of the University Autonoma de Guadalajara.   Dr. Lector commissions me to be your doctor while you stay at the facility.  Is this all right by you?

Yes, he says, do you have an extra smoke?

Yes, I do, and a Bic lighter.  Take a cigarette and enjoy yourself.  Mean Joe extracts a Marlboro red cigarette from the pack, lights up, and passes the pack back to the Wracks.  

Mean Joe, do you know why you are here with me today at the Veterans?

Yes, I hurt someone.  I hurt them badly.

He is in the hospital and might die.  Do you understand this?

He asked for it says Joe, and he takes another puff and blows the smoke at the Wracks.

It is not legal for a person to hurt someone they do not like.   Your team wants you back badly and they accessioned the best lawyer in the city to represent you.  Do exactly what he says and nothing more. 

Will you bring me my Loxitane asks Joe.    It keeps me mellow so I don’t get angry.

The court will demand that you continue to take loxitane until the matter is resolved.  They will watch you take it.  It might make you sleepy and you will have to take it until the near future.  I will get you your loxitane and a glass of water.   I would like to see you take it.

I will says Joe. 

Thank you very much for this opportunity to interview and ascertain your mental status.  I will be here for eight weeks and circulating so If you have any questions or complaints feel free to interrupt me. 

See you Doc, says Joe.

Dr. Lector instructs the Wracks never to lose sight of the door when interviewing and if the situation starts to boil over to bolt for the door and shut it behind you.   This intern is entrusted with the master key. The holder can run to any room in the facility and lock themselves in. An acute schizophrenic changes composure without notice rapidly and a clinical physician must be aware and act accordingly. 

The main focus of a clinical Psychiatrist is to delimit the accurate diagnosis of schizophrenia so the appropriate medication can be prescribed to block the offending neuron network.  The Wracks ascribes Joe to be undifferentiated at present and a liver profile and hematology are indicated due to possible drug-induced jaundice.  This person is a chronic steroid abuser, is of immense stature, and is noted for his violent demeanor hence his famous nickname.  He is admitted until a board of physicians ascertains this patient as stable and of no potential harm to society at large.  Then he will be discharged.  The Wracks wipes the perspiration from his brow.  He is sweating.  The concentration needed to evaluate this patient takes a large amount of energy.  Now it is time for a public lunch with the crazies and a moment to observe what society impresses upon the unknowing. 

Until the twentieth century, cancer was a rare disease.  It occurred mainly in chimney sweeps, metal workers, and alchemists.  Now, in modern society, cancer pervades our every consciousness, infects our children, and shortens our life span.   Cancer is completely avoidable and results from exposure to chemicals, radiation, and viruses.   Massive or cumulative accumulation of radiation or infection by rare and usually unknown viruses may induce cancer, but the main culprits are organic chemicals.   In Cotran-Clinical Pathology, a timeline reveals the exponential increase in leukemia during the twentieth century. Cells that divide quickly, like white blood cells seem more prone to developing cancer.

The main offenders in the development of cancer are organic chemicals.   As petroleum and the energy that it confers, the plastics that it makes, and the pharmaceuticals it does convene, use increases, so does the incidence of cancer.  Medical drugs, like heart drugs and anti-hypertensive agents, produced by medical corporations, act as Grignard addition reactants to the DNA and induce cancer.  On a molecular scale, active transcribing DNA in a cell, which makes proteins conferring a cell identity, becomes inoperable due to petroleum chemical addends, the cell reverts to a more primitive gene product in the chromosomes, one that mandates uncontrolled growth like a developing organ in a child.  The proteins a cell makes confer the identity and function of that cell.  Acid proteins and histones strip from the DNA on a chromosome permitting the DNA to translate into protein.  This translatable DNA is chemically reactive, and if destroyed by chemicals, the cell unmasks new genes on new chromosomes, by stripping histones and acid protein, and the cell to survive becomes cancer.  Cancer is uncontrolled growth, a condition resembling primitive embryonic cells in the womb. 

Cells have protein on their surface produced by DNA that reveals the cell’s identity.  As a tangential reference to oncogenesis, a fetus in a womb causes the mother to produce antibodies to the fetus and these antibodies, used in tissue typing are HLA antigens.  The mother produces antibodies to the developing child and when this response becomes paramount, the body induces birth or in an immunologic sense, a rejection of the child by the body.  Similarly with cancer, if a patient fights cancer long enough, the body produces antibodies to the tumor and rejects it.  The HLA antigens found on cancer cells reveal the cancer’s identity and also the chromosomes making the protein HLA antigens.  In Immunology parlance, these antigens refer to onco-fetal antigens.  Carcino-embryonic antigens found in lung tumors and ovarian tumors are onco-fetal antigens.  In Sir Harland Burnett’s theory of immune surveillance, cancer if fought long enough becomes attacked by the immune system and eliminated because it is non-host.  In reality, the drugs used in cancer chemotherapy destroy the immune system along with the tumor, and the patient, if they survive becomes susceptible to infection and dies of sepsis due to an impaired immune response. 

Back to the cell.  The 46 chromosomes in a cell are the product of millions of years of evolution from a single-cell entity, to a metazoan, and finally an intelligent animal.  This is why we have 46.  As carcinogenic agents destroy actively transcribing DNA primitive DNA from eons past starts to work, making protein antigens, and the cell trying  to survive, divides repeatedly.   The antigens present on the cancer cell membranes reveal the chromosome making the onco-fetal antigens.   Cancer cells can be immune-typed like tissue, with HLA antibodies.  The current dogma in Pathology of characterizing neoplastic tissue by chromosome mutation merely is the revelation of stochastic, happenchance destruction of actively transcribing DNA by chemicals.  It is this author’s opinion, that current Molecular Biology techniques used by Pathology are merely instruments used by professionals to bolster their income. 

Chemicals, even household chemicals if ingested produce cancer.  Metals like Chromium, nickel, and arsenic are revealed in Wikipedia as active causal agents.   Gamma radiation and alpha particles used in diagnostic medical research produce leukemia and lymphoma. Viruses seen in lower life forms produce neoplasia but this is a rarity and subject to another book.  Cancer if limited in growth by current antibiotic ribosomal agents or telomeres inhibitors eventually is rejected by the body’s immune system. Again, this is material for another book.  What I am speaking about is relevance.

If a human being does not want to get cancer, maybe they should not ingest chemicals. In modern society, this is more easily said than done as all food is preserved in the supermarket with either chemicals or metals.   Arsenic in pepper shakers happens everywhere.  Benzene, used to preserve hard liquor is everywhere.  Formula 409 and Mister Clean are potent chemicals that cause cancer if ingested, the list is endless and increasing.  The poor agrarian life of a farmer or food producer is probably healthier than an executive position in a skyscraper with lunch at a restaurant.  Please do not relegate this edition as ravings from Rasputin, the mad monk.   Rather, this is a lonely man who wonders how he can get a good buzz by himself of non-adulterated gin at the beach or by a long and winding river.  Maybe pot will do but this author does not like to get high.   Carry on and keep a stiff upper lip and maybe something will break.  HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL!  

A long time ago in Tranquil Hills, darkness prevails and Grandpa is still alive.   He is having a ceremonial dinner with us and his family.   The Wracks doesn’t know if they are related or merely business associates but he calls them his family.   The Chivas are five in number and all men.   They do business with Grandpa and he has invited them all to dinner.  In the early evening, they all pile out of a large domestic sedan and storm into the small Wracks house.  They make themselves at home in the living room, the one with white and green shag carpeting.   The Christmas tree is still up and blinking merrily with five strands of incandescent lights.  The Wracks help Father extend the table so it holds twelve-plus people in the small dining area family room.  The table is set with festive colors and settings and mom calls the family to sit and have an Italian dinner.   The Fonz is here too.   Everyone sits down in the fold-out chairs usually kept in the garage. The Chivas dress in polyester pants with white short-sleeved work shirts.  They are all bald like Grandpa except for one who sits next to the Fonz and wears a blond wig.   They all say they are in the “business” except for the one who wears a wig and works as a manager in a convenience store.  Tonight, New Year’s Day is an Italian feast.  Grandma and mom fix two larger broiler chickens, peppered on top and stuffed in the cavity with garlic cloves and basil.  A large bowl of homemade sauce configured with boiled chicken feet tied in cheesecloth and simmered in tomato puree. A huge colander holds two pounds of rigatoni pasta cooked al dente.   In addition, a large picnic salad bowl holds romaine lettuce doused with olive oil and red vinegar.   Grandpa requests this fare because it is his favorite.  Petite demure Grandma sits next to the Wracks and always has a smile for him.   Dinner is on and the Chivas leap to the passthrough and heaps their plates with tons of food and pour tomato sauce all over it.   The Fonz and the Wracks are last and take what is left over in the Buffett.  At the table, Grandma puts an extra chicken wing on the Wrack’s plate and smiles. 

Father Wracks rings his wine glass with his fork and speaks. “Who is better than us?  Manja”. 

A fine rose in separate bottles passes around and everyone eats the Italian cuisine like ravenous animals.  When everyone has seconds and the buffet pass-through is empty, they sit around with big smiles and pick their teeth with toothpicks. For dessert, they enjoy Italian cannoli.   The youngest one named “Quinto” because he is the fifth-born child shows the Wracks a six-inch switchblade that he carries around with him. 

“When you punch someone, twist your fist in so you cut their flesh and make them bleed”

The Wracks smile and heed his advice. The one with the wig who sits next to the Fonz doesn’t say much but they seem to accept each other just fine.  Quinto shows the Wracks his left hand where his index finger was bit off in a fistfight in a bar with one of the gangs.  

He smiles and says “Omerta”

The Wracks nods his head and smiles sheepishly.   The Wracks’ grandfather grins with a carnivorous smile and goes to sit in the green reclining chair in the family room.   He lights up a foot-long Roi Tan cigar and the room fills with thick wafting smoke.   The Wracks goes to the window and opens the sliding window completely and the smoke drifts out in long strands.   Grandfather picks up the current LA Times reads the financial section and puffs away.  The guests move to the living room and ask for some whiskey.    Father Wracks has some and gives them a full bottle with five shot glasses.   They are all completely sated and amused.  The Wracks cleans up the kitchen and the Fonz disappears out the front door and then he goes and sits in his bedroom and reads.   Father announces that the guests are leaving.  The Wracks picks up the glasses, loads the dishwasher, and then starts it up.   The Chivas file out the front door and pile into the late model sedan, smile, wave goodbye, and are off.   The business deal has gone through and the Wracks will never see them again.  Grandma and Grandpa are the next to leave.  The Wracks retrieves their coats and they enter the white Ford Fairlane that the Fonz will eventually inherit and convert into a surf van.  They slowly motor off.  Once again, the Wracks are alone and he dismantles the big dining room table, Mom and Dad go to their bedroom and New Year’s Day is over.   The Fonz always disappears into one of the neighbor’s houses and the Wracks don’t know where.  The Wracks prepare for bed.

This is a long time ago when the force was weak and the darkness covered the city of Tranquil Hills.   The Wracker house does not exist anymore, the new buyers demolished it and built a two-story edifice to take advantage of the ocean view.  All things come and pass and humanity transforms into nothing more than another grain of sand on the beach.  The eccentric neighbors come and go and the housing tract speculates to the abode of the entertainers and their managers. The green house is still there and like everywhere there stand houses that seem empty but are owned by people that come and go in the night.  The only indication of occupancy is the trash cans set out once a week for Action Rubish to reclaim.   The canyon is there where the Wracks hunted but now is devoid of wildlife except for rodents and reptiles.  Beautiful sunsets remain.  As one looks out to sea, almost every day, the clouds are orange, then turn to red, and then violet and the day ends and the night begins and everyone comes out.    America is God’s country.  

Christmas again in sunny California and the air is brisk, the sky is clear and the day is good.   As darkness closes in at Bacon Way a gold Cadillac Coup de Ville eases towards the brick walkway at the Wracker house. 

Help Sallie out commands Father Wracker and the Wracks walk down to the curb, open the car door, and give a hand to a small, demur blond with her hair in curls.  She gets out of the car and the Wracks assist her to the door of his abode.   Earl. His thick light hair follows her in.

Take her mink off commands Father Wracker and hang it in the front hall closet.

The Wracks oblige. Sallie stands about five feet two inches tall is very slim and dresses in an immaculate evening gown.  Earl sports a dark grey suit and matching cumberbund.    

Merry Christmas says Earl.   Where is my Scotch?

The Wracks saunter to the makeshift dry bar above the family room television and make Earl his favorite: Cutty Sark Scotch Whiskey on the Rocks.  So, Earl is happy, Father Wracks stocks a bottle of personal scotch for Earl if he ever comes over.

I’ll have a Manhattan, says Sallie, whatever whisky you have.

The Wracks hands Sallie her drink, with a maraschino cherry dropped inside.   The guests sit in the living room and savor their beverages.  Father Wracks joins them while Mom is frantically fixing the dinner for the Texans.   As to why they are in California is beyond the Wracks, and they live in the second biggest house in Brentwood, only after the other.   They had a huge Japanese Samoyed, but it became vicious and had to be destroyed.   Now they own a silver German Shepard that is almost as big as a wolf.

Dinner is ready says Mom.  Everyone to the table.

The Texans sit down at the table where the Fonz used to sit but now he lives in his refabricated Volkswagen van somewhere in San Diego.   Grandma is helping Mom in the kitchen prepare the dinner. She had a stroke and her personal physician put her on piroxicam and Indocin she looks pale, swollen, and unkempt but she works in the kitchen tirelessly.   Tonight, the fare is beef Wellington, green beans steamed in olive oil with garlic and butter, baked potatoes with sour cream and chives, and Yorkshire pudding.  Beef Wellington is a large round rump roast, coated with goose liver and enveloped in a bread-like crust designed to keep in the moisture and flavor.   Yorkshire pudding is an English relish, fit for only a king and his court.  It is a quick bread made with meat drippings, flour, and egg and cooked in a pan at a high temperature. The technique must be concise or the pudding will not rise and it is a loss to be discarded.   But tonight, it works and the guests line up at the buffet passthrough and fill their plates.  Grandma sits in her usual place and the Wracks brings her a plate before he fixes his own. Sallie sits opposite the Wracks and a glint that shines through the whole room occupies his attention.  On her right hand is a blue-white solitaire square diamond that must be at least five carats in size.   The square-cut perfect gem dazzles brilliantly and the Wracks estimates that the gem alone is worth more than a whole house. 

Father Wracks raises his glass, filled with a luxuriant red cabaret sauvignon, and toasts, Merry Christmas to all and God bless us”,   

Everyone eats and the Guests have seconds grandma puts her serving of meat on the Wracks’ dish and smiles.  For dessert, a takeout from the House of Pies appears.    Everyone gets a choice of either a blueberry or peach pie with vanilla ice cream.   Father Wracks does not smoke because it bothers the Texans.   The guests move to the living room, where scotch whiskey is served with shot glasses and the Wracks bring back grandma to her room, she sits in her green reclining chair, smiles at the Wracks, and waves goodnight.   Earl talks animatedly about his boat.  He bought a fifty-foot cabin cruiser with twin inboard turbo diesel v8 engines and the yacht outfits to go anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice.   Why anyone would have such an elaborate contrivance lurks behind Wrack’s pecuniary imagination. He moves to the kitchen and as is customary fills the dishwasher, turns it on, and begins to hand wash the sterling silver flatware and custom Mikasa China.  

Wracks, yells his father, “Could you get Sallie her mink, they are leaving soon.”

The Wracks open the hall closet, examine the coat and notice how thick, and opulent it is.   It must truly be very warm he thinks and he helps Sallie put on the coat, opens the front door, and the Texans file out.   They want to get home early because it is Christmas.   The gold Cadillac rolls off.   The seven-foot-tall artificial tree gleams and blinks.  Mother had the Wracks and his father put on five strands of blinking, multicolored lights. The white living room with the green and white shag carpeting and the tree look beautiful.  The Wracks returns to the kitchen and continues cleaning the implements.   He pours himself a cup of coffee from the nearly empty decanter and sits down at the dining room table with the Christmas centerpiece and woven settings.  It is truly nice to have a home to spend the holidays with a family and he hopes that all Americans can share in the bounty afforded by the country.  He didn’t receive many gifts for Christmas but his grandmother pays for his education and the world seems vast open and boundless at this point.  America truly is God’s country and the Wracks hopes he lives long enough to enjoy it.   Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.  

Beautiful Mary, mother of perfection

beg our maker for forgiveness

plead for mercy in our behalf

as few can see the light in the distance

We, his begotten children

refrain from entering his kingdom

which is our only salvation

in the world to come

For an instant in time, Wracks is a medical doctor.    They keep him in surgery from 8 to 1 P.M. Rounds begin at 7 am. Then he gets to take his lunch.

We need you in surgery to assist says Clancy. 

I have been there all morning says Wracks

We do debridement in the afternoon and we need someone to scrub in and take the specimen to Pathology.   You cannot say no or they will send you back to Mexico.

Okay says Wracks.  I will see you at two.

The Wracks scrubs in and they take off the leg of a diabetic.  The Wracks noticed that the veins and arteries of the amputated leg were filled with clots.   The drugs doctors prescribe for diabetes make your blood clot.  He scrubs out.   He takes the foreleg over his shoulder to the back elevator and into Pathology.   The two pathologists tell him to set the leg on the dissection bench and stand behind them without saying a word.   He will then take the note back to surgery, scrub in, and hand the note to the surgeon. He did two of them and proceeded after ten weeks to his elective in Radiology. He delivers the note to the surgeon, the surgeon is satisfied, the patient wakes up without a leg and the Wracks gets to take his lunch.

Part of the Wracks’ job in surgery is to ferry specimens to the pathology lab.   The Wracks scrubs in, the surgeon removes the tumor or growth, puts it in a stainless-steel urinal with a cloth cover and Doctor Wracks brings the specimen via the back elevator to pathology.    Freezing the specimen, microtoming, and staining the gross sample require thirty minutes, then the pathologist reads the slides and the Wracks brings back a sealed envelope to surgery, scrubs in, and delivers the note to the surgeon.   This scrutiny has a duration of at least an hour and the patient with their body cavity torn open lays in total anesthesia the whole time.  One of the tasks given to the Wracks during his sojourn in surgery is to learn how to work the anesthesia apparatus should the anesthesiologist have a heart attack or pass out and the general anesthesia book stipulates; that the longer a patient stays unconscious, the greater their chance of dying on the table.  No one seems to care or realize the gross danger a patient receives when he or she undergoes cancer surgery.  

As a surgical resident, the Wracks’ main jobs are to hold open the incision with his hands, hand hemostats to the doctor, aspirate blood, bring specimens to pathology, and close after the surgeon is satisfied with his or her position. By law, a board-accredited surgeon must suture the omentum and fascia with black surgical silk suture when closing and the Wracks does the rest.   Most abdominal surgery closes with staples and the Wracks is the stapler.  The surgery begins in the morning with rounds at seven AM and closes usually by 2 PM.   A surgical resident is on call three days a week, including weekends and the wracks spends his nights looking at incisions and prescribing benzodiazepine tranquilizers to patients in pain.  The Wracks is sure he doesn’t want to be a surgeon, but the hospital staff assures him that this will be his career.    Harvard Cushing relayed to the Wracks that the most rewarding practice in Medicine is working as a general practitioner, and in this the Wracks is assured but it never came to pass.  Brain surgery is even worse.   To spend one’s life as a surgeon is not what the Wracks envisioned but the staff tells him this is what it is to be.  This could be the reason why the Wracks is now a gardener and house painter in south central Los Angeles and he wears a painter’s hat and tattered paint-spattered jeans and smokes Marlboro red filter cigarettes and drinks Coca-Cola.  It seems a merciful killing that the Wracks never earned his medical license because the brain surgeon at NYU picked him to assist in brain surgery for cancer.   The new revolutionary technique was to insert a hollow probe into someone’s head and inject liquid nitrogen to cryo-kill the tumor.  Everyone in surgery likes the Wracks because he can tie knots with both hands.  He can cut with scissors with his left hand too. 

This is a long time ago.  With time everything changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.   The Wracks is now studying for a new career as he has failed in the previous two ones.   Maybe he will end up in the Arctic in a small office space doing bookkeeping work for Indian fur traders and petroleum engineers who exploit the environment and spend their retirement in Florida.   Now the Wracks is in Christmas, and he prays to God for a spoonful of mercy in a world full of snow.   He has an Xbox series S, a new controller a 4k monitor, and a laptop to write on and I guess this is all a human need to exist and be happy in a big, snowy, interconnected world.  Hope to see you next year from a cell with a window in the winter in the grand old United States of America.   It could be worse.  

Heavenly father

maker of everything good

protect your children from evil

favor us as we forged a covenant from your words

that they might endure

forever and ever

amen

The colonists originated from all parts of Western Europe, and China and Africa too.  They were sentenced to be colonists in a strange land found to be abundant in natural resources. Some were objects of religious persecution.  Others were English criminals and debtors expelled from their parent country to establish cities in the new world. Some were adventurers and mercenaries who sought to glean as much wealth as they could from a different, new land.   Whatever the case, the best and the brightest bonded together to be the founding fathers of a country, under God destined to be one of the greatest powers in the world.   The English kings and queens were a rough bunch not content with the king’s fifth of ransom from the settlers.  They wanted more. The English levied taxes with no recourse as to why.  The English commanded that soldiers be given quartering at individual homes.  The English demanded that male youth of the poor be conscripted to life as a sailor in the English Navy.  The best and the brightest of the colonists obtained the Magna Carta of France and amended it to be the constitution of the land.  Napoleon in his funny hat and hand in his coat financed the American Revolution.  Firearms, food, armament, and logistics provided by the government of France, made the impossible come to pass.  The patriots established the United States of America.  The American public has a short memory.  It is for this reason only that the US entered World War 2.  France ousted the royal family and was overrun.   The French queen spent the rest of her life as a commoner working in a dress store.  

Monarchy and elitism do not produce a viable political system.  The strong, valiant, courageous, ethical royalists slowly become evil, corrupt weaklings.   Over time criminals, reprobates, and defectives move close to the royalty, intermarry, and weaken the line.  What happens is a sorry reminder of past greatness.  In a monarchy, only the royal family and their friends get educated and ply good jobs. The rest are commoners and toil in labor for the duration of their lives.  The other class hopes and prays every generation that one of their children will be good-looking enough or smart enough to marry into the royal family.  The line and the system degrade.  Ultimately the people cried out of their misery, as the colonists did, and formed a communist takeover.   Then the cycle begins anew.

The dialectic communists are no better.  They run around with black Manchurian automatic pistols and assassinate other communists stealing from the treasury.  Violence prevails and to obtain an education or a good job a citizen must have a red communist card.  For a while, the system functions adequately.  Then the ruling communists begin to interbreed, criminals obtain red cards and the ruling communists become a communist monarchy, the people cry out in anguish, and few take up weapons but the unrest is quashed.  The want to be king is just plain old human nature.   There are intercene civil wars and the ruling electorate establishes themselves as the privileged few and becomes a monarchy.  Remember they still keep the name as a communist.

The most stupid, inane, wasteful, slow, and expensive political system is a capitalist democracy. In a democracy, the people choose the economic policies of the nation and Malthusian economics prevail.  Democracy is stupid because the wealthy can never agree.  A plurality is unknown and the electorate fights daily for a majority.   A democracy is wasteful.   Elections cost enormous sums of money and the criminals try to rig the ballot box.  Democracy is slow because the electorate once they agree takes time to implement public policy.  It took the United States two years to enter World War 2 and if the attack at Pearl Harbor, if it never happened, Europe would have been speaking German.   Democracy is incredibly expensive.   All the electorate, once elected command high salaries and must be housed in proximity to govern the land.   Elections are incredibly expensive and the reason our founding fathers chose a four-year term was to get the inept out of office before they ruined the economy or if the president did not want to do it anymore.   A one-six-year term is better and cheaper. People are people and they can’t agree, and they steal from one another, and eventually try to be king.   In a democracy, once an incumbent finishes a term,   the wealthy know whether they are proficient competent, and ethical and whether they choose to re-elect them.   This is the worst political system, BUT IT IS THE ONLY ONE THAT IS HALF WAY FAIR.   Everyone who plays their card right and has the right connections goes to church, and has a family has the potential to become the president of the United States of America.  In God we trust.   Long live the republic.